The beginning....

Its only a story, right? Only. Perhaps it isn't a story, only a piece of fabric illuminated by the writers pen. A smal section of a Fractal that allows you to see yourself through the lives of others. Sort of like the movies.

I think that is why certain movies, songs, or stories 'stick' with us, even after years we pick them up, turn them on and feel that warmth of knowing and being known.

That is really what it is though, just a story. A piece of fabric, a song that shows us a bit of ourselves, in the beginning it is always this way.

Eleven years passed, the prize was two suitcases, a dog and the new woman sitting on the couch. Eleven long, hard but good years. Relationships... aren't they something? Ever been to an AA meeting? There is this funny thing about open disscussion meetings. The premise of an open AA meeting is where the chairperson after all opening readings, announces a topic or someone from the floor chooses a topic. Usually, being a self-centered person, AA'ers will love to speak about their experiences. Kind of like Uncle Dartan, always sits there with the beer in his hand talking incessantly. You know he has some pearls of wisdom after 67 years but sifting through the crap leaves the imppression of , "Eh.. it's not worth it."
There is a phenomenon with such types of people, the topics they will not discuss. Yes.. yes there are such topics that even self-centered, bigoted and know it all people will not discuss. For example in the AA meeting there two topics in particular that will shut a room down. Like crickets on a June evening minus the nostaglic feeling and lemonade.

Those two topics are: Sex & Honesty.

Yep, now the exceptions here deal mostly with honesty in a mixed meeting. Cash register honesty, most people understand it can admit to not having it and will have a great time talking about it.

.. Emotional honesty? hmmm. .. yeah thats where we get a bit hairy.

With the sex topic, the only exceptions come from gender based meetings. In other words, women will discuss their sex conduct inside a women's group or meeting. Where as men, (and I am guessing here as I have not been to a men's meeting as a man) most likely do the same thing.

It is funny, that even in our own personal relationships we can't talk about emotional honesty, sex conduct with an open and loving space.
Then again, I don't know many people who can, even less that can with their partner.

Now I am not saying it's impossible, only that I haven't seen it save two times and with two different people. So you tell me, what you think.

Is there a place in your soul where you can admit to being someone else, even if only for a day, week or two and then come home with the new experience. Change who you are and be able to stand in visble view of your friends, family, partner and own it?

I have, and seems that mostly I recieve judgement, fear, and the 'you aren't who I knew."... love that one.

What is emotional honesty if not this?

Standing as you are, when you are takes courage, real courage. I am not admiting to right's or wrong's because such are only agreements between people. I am simply stating that I am here, as I appear to be without any worry, guilt or shame.

Oh wait that's it... you aren't used to seeing that.

Cool

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