Blog :: Jul 05 11, 16:57
Today, its another beautiful gift.
I am here, the sense of emptiness permeates my heart. Is there some truth to the recent message on facebook? Love of family, protecting what you love, and the obvious confusion about what is right.
My status reflects exactly how I feel. "In the face of adversity,no one has a right answer because there is none."
I have no 'right' anything. Right now I am a little peeved because all of the writing had for the book on the laptop I transfered to a usb which now will not open any of the documents. Ironically everything on the laptop is erased due to returning it to the Lab. So that is great, guess it was only a rough draft anyway.
I made my amends, found where I was hurtful and manipulative set it right. There is more when I woke up this morning. great, deal with that too. The worst thing is being told I have no belief in myself. Wow what a hurtful thing to say. Who knows maybe they are right. Maybe just maybe everything is the illusion and reality is a brain in a jar.
What I feel is the only thing I have ever held onto with gusto. To what end? more pain, more despair, some joy, unspeakable love and here I am again saddened by loss. Yes, I feel a deep sadness right now.
I went with one direction, in the adversity triangle. That caused pain. then I went the other way, which also caused pain. I stayed in the middle, kind of and that caused pain.
There is no right answer. Just choice, who am I in relation to this? to that? To them? To you?
I am love.
I am me
Still don't have an answer nor do I feel better. But hey I got a B in my psy 230 class. Thats something.
Have a great day~
Rochelle
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